170 – Toodles?

Bryan bought me a beautiful leather bound journal for Christmas, and it has been a game changer. Essentially (and obviously) blogging had been my journal for years. But having this physical book that I write in almost every single day (sometimes 5 pages at a time), has been such a welcome new way to express myself.

Over the past year or two especially, I’ve found it extremely difficult to be as open on this old blog as I used to. You have not idea the amount of drafts I have written and saved and never hit publish on. They are long winded and emotional and honest. But I couldn’t hit publish on them which made me feel bottled up and angry and censored. It’s hard to be 100% honest about life when you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, or offending, or being judged, especially when it comes to child-rearing. In addition, many of my friends who used to blog regularly don’t do so as often anymore which makes me feel less inspired (which is fine…it’s not like blogs are a requirement in life) to keep up with my own.

But my journal? It is MINE. For me only. And I can sit and I can write my deepest feelings (which I’m finding is easier said than done), and then close the book and feel better and relieved after, instead of stressed and worried. I can fill page after page after page with beautiful handwriting or chicken scratch. I can write nonsense. I can paint. I’ve been referring to this journal as Volume 1, and I’m so excited to fill it up (I’m a 3rd of the way already) and get started on Volume 2.

All of this is to say that my blog will be changing permanently (probably). I’m not sure if I’ll shut it down, or move it, or keep it, or whatever, but I don’t need it like I used to. Keeping a personal journal is where my life is at now, and I’m really happy with that.

So! I’ll update later on with my plans – if anyone is even interested, so that you can follow where I go (I’m thinking art blog) or not! Toodles for now!

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