Category Archives: Self

153 – That Time I Broke My Ankle…

The day started out rough. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed with a mildly cranky kid. Breakfast improved both our moods though, so I was thankful for that. I decided that, after checking the City website for hours, we would head down the street to the nearby paddling pool. I decked Ginny out in her swimsuit, packed a towel, sunscreened her, and prepared myself mentally to interact with other mothers. We arrive at the paddling pool…and it’s closed. There is no signage to indicate why or for how long, but I was pretty annoyed. We then began the disappointed journey home, being attacked to death by mosquitos the entire way. It was awful. Ginny was sad, I was mad, and our legs were covered in bugs.

We arrived home and Ginny went to play while I tried to figure out why the heck that pool was closed. No information was to be found so I just grumbled to myself and my sister about it. Sarah had the day off, so when she came home around lunch time, we settled in for sister time and watched Mamma Mia and talked wedding stuff. It was nice. It was making the day seem better. Around 4 o’clock, I decided to head downstairs to check the mail.

This would prove to be my undoing.

Two – just two – steps down, I slipped. My right foot skidded down a step and I grabbed the railing to stop myself. Unfortunately, my left foot stayed put, and boy did it. I heard a really awful serious of pops and snaps and then when I had steadied myself, I looked down at my left foot to see it pointing away from me, ankle looking bulgy and wrong.

Panic set in. I crawled back up the stairs, managed to open the hallway door, and began yelling my sister’s name. She came quickly, and was obviously startled to see me laying on the floor breathing like a maniac. “I think I broke my foot!!” I managed to say. She grabbed her phone and came out to the landing and knelt next to me. “Should I call 911 or Bryan?” she asked. “I DON’T KNOW!!” I truly had no idea. Fortunately, the landlord happened to enter the building at that moment. He offered to call the ambulance while Sarah called Bryan, and then the landlord went outside to wait and direct the paramedics. Bryan works close to home so was able to get to us within probably five minutes. He grabbed a pillow to rest my foot on, and just sat next to me while we waited.

Finally the paramedics arrived. This really has no relevance to the story, but they were so incredibly handsome. Anyways, they came up the stairs to chat with me and check my vitals and then, bless them, give me drugs. By this point my foot was completely purple and they couldn’t find a pulse at all. They helped me down the stairs onto the stretcher, loaded me into the ambulance, and the next thing I knew I was at the hospital. While I was out, they popped my ankle back into place, which subsequently saved my foot, bringing back my pulse. I am very thankful for that.

The wait in emergency was excruciating. They weren’t allowed to give me anything else, so as the drugs wore off, I started crying in the hall. I was scared and sad and the shock had worn off and it was awful. I don’t know how long we waited, but when we finally got into a room I was so relieved. More drugs were administered and I felt much better, if not a little loopy.

The staff at that hospital really helped me. I mean, obviously they helped me because that’s their job, but they were all so cheerful and funny and just really helped take my mind off of what happened. When I think about that awful night, I think about how amazing everyone was, not how miserable I was.

Eventually, my bones were set, my first cast was put on, and we were sent home with crutches. I suck at crutches. We drove home where my brother was waiting to help, and that walk from the car my bed was the worst walk of my life. Halfway up the sidewalk I sat down on a piece of wood and quit. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it home. I was hot, sweaty, exhausted, and feeling nauseated and defeated. After a very long time, I did make it into the apartment, but it was not fun and involved a whole lot of puking. That night was pretty bad too, especially knowing I had to get up and head back to another hospital the next day.

As I said, we went out to another hospital the next morning. We spent most of the day in waiting rooms, I got a couple xrays, a new cast, and then was told to head back home and await a phone call about surgery. The days following this were awful. I couldn’t keep any food down, I was tired, I couldn’t look after myself, and poor Bryan and to take that week off of work to look after me. It was terrible, waiting for the phone call to schedule my surgery. When we finally did get the call though, I felt such relief, as I knew it was a major stepping stone to recovery.

Surgery day arrived, 5 days after the initial accident. We arrived at a third hospital, and proceeded to wait 4 hours to head up to the operating room. In general, I try to be a very understanding person about hospital wait times, especially in the emergency room. However on this day, I was quickly losing my patience. I was running on next to no sleep, had hardly eaten anything in days, let alone the pre-surgery fasting, and just wanted to get this thing over with. Finally though, we were taken up.

Waking up from surgery sucks. Back when I had my gallbladder removed, I remember hating the oxygen mask and how generally weird I felt upon waking. This was so much worse. I had to fight to wake up, my eyes were so heavy and the oxygen was so…oxygeny. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t say anything. My entire body felt tense, especially my leg, and I couldn’t just relax. Finally the mask was removed and I felt a zillion times better, though it took another hour for my body to relax, and a day or so for my leg.

The nurse took me to my room where my faithful, steadfast, wonderful husband was waiting. I was treated to a hospital dinner of macaroni and cheese and oh my GOSH it was amazingly delicious. It was wonderful to have my appetite back. I did throw up a couple times the next day, but other than that the nausea has disappeared. Then it was time to go home, where I proceeded to have the best sleep I’ve had in weeks. It was niiiice. Though disappointing to remember the broken ankle when I woke up.

Throughout all of this, we had Ginny on and off. Her grandparents living so close has been a blessing, as they’ve been willing to take her for a few days at a time here and there. I can’t look after her properly right now, and it’s devastating. She wants so badly to be helpful, but only succeeds in getting in the way. Her cuddles are rejuvenating, but her presence is exhausting. It’s brutal being a parent when you’re injured or sick.

Yesterday, I went to see the doctor and was pleased to learn that my cast would be coming off permanently. I now have an air cast boot thingy, and it’s a game changer. I’m not allowed to put pressure on my foot, but I no longer have to lay around with it elevated all the time, and it weighs 800lbs less than the plaster. Plus, I can take it off to shower. And my poor wrinkly foot needs a good cleaning.

These past 2 weeks have been something else. I go from being thankful for the love shown to me by everyone, to resentful that people don’t seem to understand that I don’t want to do anything. These next 5 weeks are going to be tough, but I know that it will be okay. Plans have had to change, but we’re in a position right now that we can adapt without much trouble.

Above all of this though, I am remembering God’s faithfulness. Things are bad right now – I broke my ankle, I made Bryan miss work, I can’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of Ginny, I missed my big date with Bryan, wasn’t able to clean the apartment when I planned, missed my trip to Winnipeg to visit my mom, we can’t do what we had planned for our anniversary, I’m going to have to do physio and go through the pain of learning to walk normally again, and now I have to figure out how the heck I’m going to register Ginny for pre-k and if she is accepted, how will I take her to school… So much bad, seeping in from all angles. My summer is ruined, and I’m stuck on the couch or in a wheel chair. But God is there. If the accident had occurred any other day, my sister wouldn’t have been home. And guys? I am shy enough that yelling down the hallway for help would not have happened. If you ever wondered the extent of my social anxiety, that is a prime example. As it was though, Sarah was home to help me. Ginny miraculously slept through the whole ordeal. The landlord showed up at just the right time. The paramedics saved my foot. The staff was kind and friendly and funny. Bryan had extra vacation days to take. His parents arrived home in time to take Ginny. And of course, the massive network of people praying for me has been an unending source of comfort. Without God and the support of my family and friends (and some strangers), I would not be in a good place right now.

As all of this is going on, I am reminded of the words of my friend Dory: Just keep swimming. That’s what I’m going to do, and I’ve even ordered a tshirt (which hopefully fits…) that has the saying on it. I’m going to have good days and bad days, but I’m going to make it through with a smile if I can just remember that this is a small portion of my life. Soon enough, this will be a weird memory.

Seriously though…this was such a bizarre injury!!! And to top it all off…there wasn’t even any mail that day. So all this trouble for nothing.


150 – 27

In two days, I turn 27 years old. It’s not a significant number, yet it does bring me one more year closer to 30 (an age I’m really looking forward to). The past year has been good to me. It brought challenges, but it also brought positive change. Here are 27 things (important or not):

I stuck to a workout routine (and subsequently fell out of it when I got sick, but I am still reaping the benefits)

I improved my diet and grocery shopping habits

I potty trained my daughter

I stepped out of my comfort zone MULTIPLE TIMES and was successful in doing so

I made hard commitments and followed through

I saw the teaser trailer for Beauty and the Beast

I learned a new hobby/skill

I fell in love with Hamilton

I discovered a new community that helped me to be confident

I discovered the joy of online shopping

I read more books

I took my daughter to Sunday School regularly

I went on more dates with my husband

I finally rearranged my living room

I got rid of things I don’t need

I voted – twice

I developed more informed political opinions

I developed more informed ethical/moral opinions

I finally attended free comic book day

I was more patient with my daughter

I loved my husband more physically

I breathed a huge sigh of relief with my husband as we paid off our debt

I made more art

I developed my artist style more succinctly

I celebrated with my husband as we got a new car

I learned to be more level headed

I learned to be an adult.

It was a good year. There was good, there was bad, and there was amazing. Life is looking up for us more and more consistently, and I feel more happy and more bright. I look forward to the coming years with anticipation. I look forward to when I show physical signs of aging. I look forward to watching my daughter grow up. I look forward to deepening my love and friendship with my husband. I look forward to drawing closer to my friends, and watching their journeys. There are so many good things on the horizon, and I’m so ready to take on the challenges that I’m sure will be thrown my way. I’m more myself lately than I’ve been in a long time, and that makes me feel comfortable and confident. I like it. A lot.

Let’s do this, 27.


134 – New Bible

For several years now, I’ve been wanting a new Bible. I wanted a Bible though, that would cater specifically to me. My old Bible, which I bought in 2007 was great – nice cover, nice pages, decent sized print, but no matter how many times I tried to read it, I could never make it out of Exodus. I needed a new Book that would be more conducive to me as a visual learner. And then, out of the blue last week, I found one.


A beautiful leather bound cover, elastic to hold it shut, built-in bookmark. The outside is attractive and not busy. It’s the inside though, that really drew me to purchase this.


This Bible was made specifically for creative journaling, and the images throughout are beautiful and I can’t wait to colour them in over the years. Not only does it have these pictures for colouring though, it also has nice big margins to write in (which I have already been making good use of). Excellent footnotes combined with an easy to read translation are making this more of a joy to read than my previous Bible. Reading this Book makes me feel inspired, and is also making me feel more willing to take on the task of reading God’s word, cover to cover. You’ll also notice the sides of the pages have a lovely print of flowers and butterflies as well.


I realize that this post almost sounds sponsored, but it’s not. I’m just so excited about this! It was such a cool and unexpected find. A Bible just for me.

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121 – Update Randomnicity


So yeah. That’s me up there. Un-brushed hair, wearing my husband’s Assasin’s Creed shirt (it glows in the dark, btw). I dunno. Life has been weird lately.

I’ve been in such a rut for the past few months. Wonderful things have happened, and wonderful things are in store for us, but that is not necessarily the recipe for being 100% happy. My family is good. My home is good. The weather is good. I’m just blue.

How has this made an effect in my life?

I have done zero personal art in 2016. Zero. I do have a project in the works, but it’s not something I would have have done on my own. This is good! It’s good to be challenged artistically, and this will turn out super cool in the end. But…in my spare time, I haven’t even been doodling. None. Which is weird. So, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see when that finally picks up.

I’ve been feeling lousy in the parenting department. Now, I’m going to stop you right here. Do NOT say, “But Becca, you’re a GREAT mom!” I know this. I know that I provide my child with everything she needs, and some stuff she doesn’t. I make life fun for her. I give her so much love she doesn’t know what to do with it all. HECK! I’ve even finally POTTY TRAINED HER (more on that in another post)! But sometimes, no matter how well things are going, and certainly no matter how many times people compliment your parenting abilities, you still feel like a poop. Lately, I’ve been feeling like a poop. I’m positive every parent feels this way once in a while. Just gotta get through it. Having a child like Ginny, who is intelligent and kind and loves to show me love really helps.

I’ve been eating my feelings again. Ugh. Gotta stop. This blog is truly a testament to my failures in the food department. Every few months I make a sweeping declaring that things will change, but IT IS SOOO HARD!! Still. I am perpetually working on it, and will continue to do so. I’m not discouraged, just frustrated.

Now. On to other stuff.

My hair continues to grow. Obviously. It pleases me greatly whenever I brush it out after a shower, to see the length creeping down my chest. Pretty soon I’ll be at Mermaid Level, meaning I won’t need to wear a shirt anymore since my hair will hide the bazongas. I mean, I’ll still wear a shirt because it’s winter…but I will have the option not to.

Please realise that I’m kidding.

Hmm. What else to talk about. Well in July I’ll be standing up with my BFF at her wedding as her Maid of Honour. I’m pretty nervous for speech-making, and event planning, but I’m also very excited. The dresses are SMOKIN’, guys. We ladies are gonna look hawwwt. I’d like to shed a few inches for the wedding, which I think is a reasonable and attainable goal. My hope is to outshine the bride. Just kidddddding. She’s going to be STUNNING. I can’t wait to share the deets of the shower and bachelorette on here though. Hopefully after the wedding (if I remember to take photos). I have some pretty lofty, pinterest worthy ideas going on in this noggin of mine.

OH MY GOSH! I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION!! I quit biting my nails. Again. Haha. I’m a pro at quitting now. I’m just not a pro at staying quitted. I know that’s not a word. I don’t care.


La la laaaa la la laaa laaaaaaaaaaa. What next what next.

My husband is probably the best guy ever.

My daughter is THE most awesome kid I’ve ever known. She’s hilarious and so much more brilliant than I could have ever imagined. You always hope you’ll have a smart kid, but I am just gobsmacked that I ended up with one of THE smartest kids ever. She can do a bit of simple addition now, can write 90% of her letters from memory, can read the words Cat and Fish, is a pro at writing her name, and can also type her name. Ginny is a natural at video games and computers, and is in love with the world of Peppa Pig.

Oh my gosh! And I registered her for pre-kindergarten! Whaaaaat! I know. Crazy that we’ve reached this point. Prayers and kind thoughts are VERY much appreciated, as we won’t know if she is accepted until June, and then we still have to officially register her in September. I’ll write more about the registration experience another day.

Well. I guess that’s it for today. Just felt like an update was in order. I know my rambly posts are liked, but I do hope to have a tad more structure next time. Toodles, y’all!

74 – Becca’s Day Out

A couple weeks ago, I took the bus downtown to meet my sister for a movie. For the first time in a long time, I left the apartment alone, and then remained alone for a good forty minutes. Until I was in the midst of those forty minutes, I had not realized how little time I spend alone out of the house. There are days when everyone else is out – even Ginny – and I get to do my own thing, but that usually involves lounging around in my jammies, binge watching trash tv, and painting or browing tumblr. Actually leaving the house on my own had never occurred to me…until now.

Monday morning we got up, had breaky, got ready to go, and then Bryan dropped me off at the mall while he and Ginny continued on to hang out with his brother for the day. I was alone. Alone alone alone. I was there before the mall actually opened, so I went into Starbucks, tried a new drink (since I was 12 years old I’ve only ever ordered a latte or capuccino) – shaken iced black tea, so yummy – and then went for a walk to the river to enjoy the scenery for a bit.

I went back to the mall just in time for stores to open, and then spent the next 3 hours browsing, window shopping, actual shopping, and treated myself to a yummy lunch of a New York Fries poutine. It was so pleasant not feeling rushed; I was able to take my time without either a bored husband, a fussy child, or a friend not quite as interested in what I was looking at. I didn’t really end up buying anything I set out to buy, but that was ok. Just the act of being by myself was so completely pleasant. I can’t wait to do it again!

**I bought 3 new books while I was out, so keep an eye out for reviews once I’ve finished reading them (I’ve finished the first one already).

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71 – Glasses Quest 2015

It has been SEVEN years since my last eye exam, and since the last time I purchased new glasses. This is terrible. Bad Becca. Bad! I’m finally booking a new appointment all these years later and I’m very excited to order my new spectacles soon. Here’s what I’m thinking – please give me your opinions!!






Clearly I’m leaning towards the colour brown. I had brownish frames when I was in my late teens and they were my all time favourite glasses, so I’d like to return to that look if I can. I also clearly like the ‘nerdy’ look – big surprise there (not). I really can’t wait to get this process started (and finished)! I am so ready for this change.

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